I vascillate between to polar opposite belief systems: that the universe is supporting me or that I’m running the show.

The higher reality is that I’m completely supported by a power outside myself, and its up to me to use my free will to align with the best values and energies available – and then to execute – act – do –  in alignment with these values, without compromise.

Its a game of continually surrendering my ego’s will for the will of greater possibility.

I cannot move forward without giving up something.  The better I can get at giving up and being open and willing to learn and grow, the easier my life has become, and the greater happiness I experience.

I will forget this several times within the next three minutes –  and instead operate from the position (like a giant two year old) of I’m in charge, and “this is wrong” – filling my system with a puzzling and exhausting emotional storm – making my life a lot harder than it needs to be.

Think of a bell curve.  Everything under the middle hump of it is classified as “Normal”.

It used to be the Smoking cigarrettes was normal.  A few wacko’s on the fringe claimed that smoking caused cancer.  Then their ideas made it to the the next big thing, and soon these once heretical thoughts replaced “smoking” as the norm.

Now smoking is on the fringe.

Everything that is normal today was once on the Fringe – then it moved into the realm of the cool – then to the next big thing – then to social convention: normal.

Normal changes all the time – and it gets replaced with something that started at the fringe.

Not everything from the fringe makes it to be “Normal” – but all things normal start at the fringe.

Pick an area of your life.  What’s normal?  What’s on the fringe?  What’s on the fringe now that will be the new normal?

Get used to this way of seeing the world, and you’ll be less surprised, you’ll predict better, and you’ll anticipate future change better, too.

On your deathbed I may be lucky enough to look back and be filled with joy and gratitude for the experiences I traded my life for.

That’s what happens in life:  we trade each day for experiences.  We trade each minute for experiences.  At the end, we’ve traded our lives for experiences.

What do I want to feel on my deathbed about my trading record?

How am I doing now?

Better trades of moments for investments in an experience seems to yield the ideal life.

Life is a never ending opportunity for us to solve new challenges.

As we progress, the complexity and difficulty of the problems we solve, if graphed out, would look like a mountain range:  some easy problems, some difficult ones.

Great mountaineers look at all the routes to a peak then choose the best one – then along the way, they look at all the foot and hand holds, and choose the ones best for them.   Its the same with us.

Know the peak you’re climbing.  Assess the routes.  Choose the one right for you, and get started.  Once you start, the real challenges kick in – and you’ll have to dig deeper for solutions…

I’m stuck in an extremely unproductive state today.

I’ve got a TON of urgent files on my desk that demand my attention and focus… and today I can’t deliver.

I’m stuck.  What do I do?

I can plow through and force myself to get something done.

I can quit – go off and come back when I’m ready to get something done.

These aren’t working today.

So I sit here and let myself be stuck.

I go to the other extreme  - and do nothing.  Sit and breathe for 5 minutes, practicing mindfulness.

I identify one thing I can do for 5 minutes.

I set the timer for 5 minutes and see what I can get done.

I give myself permission to get just that much done.

I have to work this out.

Life seems to be about asking the best of myself and applying it to the challenge at hand, so I can grow through the challenge.

This realization makes me feel better.

But I’m still not getting anything done!

Part of me doesn’t want to improve.

Thoughts tell me not to do the things I know I should do to reach my goal.

I can choose to believe or disbelieve these thoughts… but usually the thoughts act before I’m aware of them.

So even before I am consciously aware of what I am doing, I’ve already made the decision to believe this wrong thought, and impede my progress.

This is why reaching goals is a growth process and exhausting.  We’re rewiring our brains.  we’re developing new circuitry in our nervous system – its like developing stronger muscles:  it takes work!

But we can’t eliminate resistance with force.  I have to eliminate it by making it meaningless.

I make the resistance meaningless by having the awareness that it always comes from some very small tiny thought patterns, and by paying attention to them, I can evolve faster and with less resistance.

A fish swims in water – but it doesn’t know it.

Pull it out, and it’ll realize this.

We swim in “frames” – but we don’t know it.

The frames we swim in are the filters in our brains that give meaning to everything we encounter.

We are constantly framing each other – the media is constantly framing us – politicians, marketers, organizations, etc are all framing us.

Frames are like invisible switches that program our response to a particular event.

How are you being framed?  What do you do about it?

Increase your awareness of being framed, and you’ll have more control and happiness in your life.

Mother’s Day, 2010.

Its 7:30 AM – Ellen gets up and goes to the healthclub.

It’s Mother’s day, and our plans for taking a bike ride are dashed due to the weather.

I’m practicing my habit of seeing myself as an event.  ”What does an event do when its plans fall through?”

‘Events don’t whine – events evolve’… and with that thought I avoid the trap of ‘poor me’ and I move forward, evolving into greater possibility.

Ellen and I recently did an exercise to ID the common values that drive us as a couple and parents.  We identified Connection, Beauty and Fun.

So my task was to be an event that brought Connection, Beauty and Fun to the morning.

I rousted the kids, and we sit ’round the table, each of them putting the finishing touches on the cards they made for Ellen.

“What’s something we can do together (connection) with mom that will be fun and will be outside (beauty)?” I ask.

We kick around some ideas, everyone sharing their thoughts – pro and con.

We come up with a plan to go to the health club, put notes in Ellen’s car – taking her on a scavenger hunt.

This plan sparks their interest, and everyone starts drawing out certain steps of instructions… I’m watching.

We go to the club, sneak into her car and position the notes for her.

Then we drive to a hidden vantage point where we can spy on her.  (What is it about spying on people that is so much fun for kids?)  As we wait, the weather improves, revealing a beautiful sunny spring day.

We wait … then we spot her walking to the car.  She gets in – then gets out – she’s visibly surprised about the notes.  Seeing this, the kids go wild.

Her first instructions were to call my daughter’s cell, who would then text further instructions.

These led her to other notes, driving instructions, a secret map, cryptic clues, and a destination that we were speeding to, a few blocks away.

At the destination – a forest preserve trail head – she had to find our car, and then follow the clues hidden throughout the van before she found the clue saying go to the river.

She gets out of the car, and makes a bee-line to the river – while we’re secretly watching from the forest.  the kids gleefully circle around behind her and can barely hold in the giggles as they close in on her.

All at once they run for her and she turns toward the footsteps, only to be greeted by 4 sets of hugs, smiles, enthusiasm and love.  Time stops, and we’re frozen in the timeless moment of Connection, Beauty and Fun.

The dog’s barking at a squirrel brings us out of it.  As we head to the river trail, Ellen gets debriefed  from four excited perspectives at once, each joyfully sharing how they schemed to pull this off.

Upon reflection – there was no fancy dinner or brunch, there was no $ exchanged, there was no have to’s …  as my daughter and I discussed – it was like we were reaching for the very very teeny tiny inner switches, that if we flicked, would really turn on mom’s lights (and ours too!).

Intrinsic seems to trump extrinsic.

Seeing the world through the eyes of “I am an event” in the world changes who I am in the world.

We followed the walk up with our favorite pastry treats, breakfast and homemade cards for mom.

The extrinsic treats were a nice touch on the morning’s intrinsic base!

Have you ever considered yourself as an event?

How would you have to look at the world to see yourself as an “event”?

Buckminster Fuller called my friend Marshall Thurber an “Evolutionary Event”.

Marshall challenged me to find the view of the world necessary to see myself as an “evolutionary event”.

First: I am an event.

Life is a series of events.  Think of it like multiple  parades, all happening at once, each playing different tunes and having different paces and sizes – all intersecting the same place and time together.

I’m just a member of one of these parades.  I’m an event that occurs in the parade.  As an event, I influence other events in the larger parade event.

What do events do?

Events evolve.  Events respond to changes to inner and outer dynamics (pressures, openings and forces) and change in response to their surroundings.  In the parade metaphor, there are potholes that events in the larger parade event need to navigate around – there are equipment issues to deal with, there are reviewing stands, there are hunger and thirst issues… each event evolves in response to these issues.

I can evolve in a number of ways.  The bottom line is that I’m not static.  I’m evolutionary.

So I’m an evolutionary event.

Try this idea on.  Wear it around for a few days.  Interact and see life through the filter of being an evolutionary event for a few days.

What happens?

Definitions change everything: if  I am an event, then I’ve defined myself differently and will see myself differently, and will experience myself and my life differently.

Want an EVENTful life?  See yourself as an event!